$123,456,789

52 Old Main Street, Deerfield, MA 01342

Own a Piece of Deerfield History! (Seriously, you can’t)

Single-Family Residence Built in 1747

Price: Priceless (and also not for sale) Beds: 2 (attic flex space not included)

Baths: 0 (chamber pots not included) Sq. Ft.: Who cares? It’s 3 centuries of pure history. 

Description:

Step back in time… way back. Like, eighteenth century back. This isn’t your average fixer-upper; it’s a meticulously preserved slice of Deerfield’s past, presented in a seven-room time capsule. The Wells-Thorn House, built in 1747, offers a unique opportunity to experience the history of domestic life the Connecticut Valley.

Enjoy your morning coffee by hand-grinding your beans and roasting them over the kitchen fire*, hauling water from the well, boiling it over the open fire, steeping your coffee, straining it through a cloth, and pouring it into an expensive fancy coffee pot. No milk.

*Seller is not responsible for anyone whose clothing catches on fire while cooking.

Key Features:

• Early Eighteenth-Century Kitchen: Experience the glory of a bare, cold, and damp eighteenth-century kitchen.
• Appliances: The kitchen comes with no appliances, but it does have ceiling hooks to keep your sacks of raw grain off the floor.
• Bonus Room: Includes a buttery for all your home dairying.
• Eighteenth-Century Craftsmanship: Witness the rise of skilled artisans and the burgeoning agricultural economy. (No Home Depot runs here!)
• Robin’s Egg Blue Paint: Learn how the house got its signature robin’s egg blue paint. (A lawyer, who is not named Wells or Thorn, bought the house painted it this color, possibly in hopes of grabbing the attention of costumers… but he only lived in the house for a few years.)
• Zero Modern Amenities: Forget central air and stainless steel appliances. This is pre-electricity and pre-Netflix, folks.
• Open-Concept Floor Plan (NOT): But who needs it when you have an historic lobby-entry with an ell floor plan?

Disclaimer: This property is part of a museum and is NOT FOR SALE. Seriously, please don’t try to make an offer. This listing is intended for humorous purposes only. Please enjoy the history, and leave the ghosts alone.

Open House: April 1st (No, there isn’t actually an open house. But you can come see the house when we open on May 3!)